Scratching and Clawing

I’m constantly in awe of TED talks. 

Whenever I listen to them or watch them, I am always inspired by the mastery of content matter, the confidence in the delivery, and the importance of the message. They have a way of making sense of complex topics. 

Yesterday I was walking home from getting dinner and was feeling a bit down, a bit lonely, so I decided to listen to a podcast – on happiness. 

Usually I don’t like to have my headphones in while walking anywhere at night because it makes me more unaware of my surroundings and calls attention to the fact that I have something valuable on me, but I lowered the volume, hid them under my hoodie and tried to learn a little more about what makes us happy or unhappy. 

One of the fascinating insights (the podcast is titled “Simply Happy”) was that our minds are often wandering. This might not seem like a big deal, but part of the research showed that we are most happy when we are most focused

When I used to teach, I would often have a lot of trouble getting the attention of my students when trying to deliver a lecture on topics like checks and balances rather than an engaging activity. This usually culminated with them solemnly leaving class, probably yawning on their way out the door. I’d return to my desk and on my really close minded days probably lament to a co-worker some version of, “kids these days” while letting out a frustrated sigh.  

Upon further reflection, it all makes perfect sense. If I was giving a lecture and it wasn’t engaging, most likely there were a lot of wandering minds which meant a room full of unhappy students.

Not giving them opportunities to be focused meant I was robbing them of happiness. 

In a previous post, I mentioned that before I decided to back off social media that I’d even be on my phone when I watched TV. It’s really interesting to think about the fact that maybe part of the reason that I felt even more empty after an hour of watching TV while also on my phone was that yes both of them can qualify as distractions but the truth was I wasn’t focusing on either of them

I know that sometimes this is going to look like scratching and clawing. Just like my students in History class – some of them really fought to pay attention even when their compatriots had thrown in the towel. Maybe their reward for this was a better grade, but looking back on what I know now, they were also creating more happiness. 

Thinking more on my life and relationships, I already know that giving attention, simply to the primacy of focus will have an impact on my future happiness. The people in my life that work to do this, especially when I am sharing a particularly long-winded story, are not only being kind and patient, they’re choosing to be happier.

More focus = more happiness. I know it’s not infallible, but it makes a lot of sense to me. 

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